/cow/ - Lolcows

Autism speaks. It's time to listen.

Winner of the JulayWorld Attention-Hungry Games™, Week 9

/nido/ - Larga vida al Rey (two time winner)

(sorry for the delay)

Nominations for week 10 coming soon.


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Open file (704.70 KB 600x300 DolphinWeather.png)
The story of a dolphin poster Anonymous 12/08/2019 (Sun) 07:45:16 ID: 2b4f09 No.22314 [Reply] [Last]
He originally posted on cafe/r9k/ and then has been spamming every fucking board in existence. I hope he gets banned, but he continues to evade IP bans.

I've attached one of his cancerous files.
244 posts and 51 images omitted.
>>42403 No, but I did not endorse/create those posts.
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>>42406 You sure?
Dolphin G​AMERGATE is sperging out at https://dolphin.pedo/b/ now. Still announcing new chans that either never happen or go offline again after two days.
*Dolphin nigger *Lynxchan.net/b/
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Dolphin is Analockman

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Anonymous 12/24/2019 (Tue) 21:33:10 ID: b58a30 No.24430 [Reply] [Last]
This takes place just after the wedding that Arthur and them went to and had no idea it was a gay wedding but they didn't care for Mr. Ratburn is a friend. Most had no idea Mr. Ratburn was gay until the wedding itself. He is now an openly gay man. They are planning to adopt some kids in fact of course. Both are men so they can't have kids of their own. They both have the same body parts. So yes both has testicles, scrotums, and penises. Patrick took Mr. Ratburn last name as his own. He moved into Nigels house. For Patrick lived in an apartment. We see them talking about stuff in fact of course. And they are babysitting some of the kids in his class. "I have no problem with you two being gay men I am a Liberal kind of boy and I am not gay in fact of course," said Arthur, "I don't know why Patrick here is thinking about getting his genitals removed from his body for that sounds painful for they are sensitive body parts I love having a penis and scrotum were my testicles is at I hope to use them to reproduce with someday in fact of course." "He doesn't like his genitals for he is the femine kind and he owns a chocolate shop," said Mr. Ratburn, "We will ask a gay doctor as in surgeon that has no problems removing genitals in fact of course." "I don't want my genitals removed from my body for I love my penis in fact of course," said Buster, "We think Binky Barnes is a gay boy in fact of course." "Once it is off I will be happy and I once tried to cut them off but my mom stopped me," said Patrick, "We will adopt some kids bickers we are both men in fact of course." "I think Binky Barnes is gay for when he gave me a bath he looked at my long penis in lust," said Bud, "I am just four years old but I know what sex is my dad taught me with me stripped naked for better reasons." Bud isn't gay but his one classmates is and Bud is not very good friends for he bosses other's isn't gay in fact of course. Bud knows that it is okay to be different and glad that they will go home later today. Arthur and them boys has circumcised penises in fact of course. Buster and Binky has small penises in fact of course. We still see them talking about stuff in fact of course. "I was circumcised after birth so don't have have foreskin unlike some boys for we have showers in school at times," said Arthur, "So I seen us all naked we all have ten toes and genitals and I seen girls naked they have vaginas for I sometimes have baths with my sister D.W. here in fact of course." "I was circumcised after birth myself for i my mom good my foreskin in a jar in a box," said Bud, " We will have a bath together tonight as in me and D.W. in fact of course. "

Message too long. Click here to view full text.

19 posts and 7 images omitted.
Гунт INTO Гунт Now that's fucking retarded BO = UNFUNNY NIGGERS
>>31548 Ni­ggers can't even bt­fo gu­ntfilters
>>31548 >BO it's sitewide, it happens on other boards too. It's how you spell G U N T in Cyrillic, look up River G U N T on your search engine of choice.
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Гунт squad

Guntlemen... Robi Board owner 08/05/2019 (Mon) 07:03:50 No.1 [Reply] [Last]
This is a (hopefully temporary) bunker until the 8chan dust settles. This is a meta thread. Post about anything you need here.

Source Code
Current frontend code: https://gitlab.com/alogware/xanderlynx
Backend is vanilla Lynxchan 2.2 at the moment.

Rules
1. Don't break US laws (SSNs, CP, etc.)
2. There is no second rule really just don't break US laws
Edited last time by robi on 08/06/2019 (Tue) 15:43:16.
278 posts and 64 images omitted.
>>40650 >Download file: 04lwz3wqf7d2.rar (284,21 Mb) What is it? https://turbobit.net/qg8vb4tfvcqz.html
>I can lurk /cow/ and listen to Glass without alt-tabbing NICE
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>>1997 saved
Repeat after me: I won't AstroTurf julay world https://archive.is/DejVD
https://ghettogaggers.com/jmperrR just fucking do it already

JewTube Rational Skeptics Thread #9 - The Final Edition Anonymous 08/05/2019 (Mon) 07:06:12 No.2 [Reply] [Last]
INTERNET BLOODSPORTS SEMI-PERMANENT MEGATHREAD! LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

Alternate names include
Jewtube™ Rationalist™ Skeptic™ Thread™ #∞
Internet Bloodsports Megathread

We've had about a gajillion "Jewtube Skeptic Thread #9" threads at this point that all appear and disappear at the speed of light and nobody really gives a shit about delicately archiving the posts in them or anything, and they're beginning to clutter up the board pretty bad, so this is a compromise everyone can be happy with for the time being.

Discuss all things "Internet Bloodsports" that don't necessitate their own thread here. Krautgate, skeptic drama, all the shit that fall under that umbrella.

Get your raincoats on, kids! Because we're about to see some guts go flying! This thread will be cycled.

Links, Information and Lore:
Full Timeline
https://pastebin.com/1yjbjeaT
http://archive.is/dM1kQ (Backup from April 2nd 2018)
Archived Threads:
https://pastebin.com/Hrtcp4QR
http://archive.is/MtOiZ (Backup from April 2nd 2018)
745 posts and 475 images omitted.
>>42708 Nooooooo Siegethot you should have just shot him while you had the chance, the ogre is going to use some gay wrestle wrestle move on you now!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDWM6pGxqSQ LIVE: MoRon's Appeal Response Continues! | Rekieta Law
>>42717 lawyer man bad me no watch reeeeeeeee
>>42718 True story: Goku got into trouble, and Rekita offered Goku to shill for him on cow until July dies for his attorney fees.
AIN'T GOT NOT GAMES AIN'T GOT NO JOBS https://youtu.be/MaBdf9JpmV4

Give me emails to spam JEWS 04/08/2020 (Wed) 00:19:32 ID: 19a1d1 No.42698 [Reply] [Last]
Dump some lolcow's emails. I'll spam them for you.
>>42698 angelsoriano420@gmail.com I think that's the correct email.
Who even uses email anymore? Spam a highly requested mail like corona health service or a suicide hotline.

Zachary "Zachy-Chan" Keith Hasbrouck #2 cyclical when edition Anonymous 12/04/2019 (Wed) 03:44:27 ID: 0647d3 No.21575 [Reply] [Last]
/tv/'s resident hapa autist, Harry Potter fanatic, Emma Watson waifuist/white knight and soyboy extraordinaire. Spams Emma Watson and GAMERGATE dicks, what lead a board volunteer to challenge him to a deathmatch.
Ghostposts in 4plebs (https://archive.4plebs.org/tv/search/text/stone/ghost/only/)
Reddit and 4chan refugee, with insatiable hatred for Emma Stone. Lives in Connecticut.
Things he enjoys: Emma Watson, deepfakes of her, Harry Potter flicks ("fantasykino" as he calls it), "Beauty and the Beast" (2017, with Emma Watson), cuck porn (or at least he's known for spamming it), Stanley Kubrick, Nickelback, weed, pizza, Delirium Belgian beer (export special for fools who like piss), "kino" grids (black and white collages with movie screencaps), pretending that Emma Watson is pretty or talented, giving half star reviews on aggregator sites to movies that "compete" with Emma Watson's, giving 5 star reviews on those sites to movies with Emma Watson in them.
Things that trigger him: Emma Stone, Saoirse Ronan, Ryan Gosling, Ana de Armas, Silvia Hoeks, Mackenzie Davis, "Lost River", "La La Land", "Blade Runner 2049", pics of Harvey Weinstein with Emma Watson, Razzies, Oscars, the original version of "The Beauty and the Beast", getting told that Emma Watson can't act or sing, people bringing up that he's a mutt, mods deleting his posts, /pol/ and the alt-right.
Main letterboxd account:
https://letterboxd.com/itskino/
Youtube account:
ZMAN - YouTube: http://archive.is/3Cypg
IMDb known accounts:
https://archive.is/1t9WP
https://archive.fo/EYOzy
Livejournal account:
http://archive.is/N7fJB
http://archive.is/dKz8X
http://archive.is/QczKZ
Reddit accounts (banned):
/u/half-bloodprince
/u/emmastonecantact

First thread: http://archive.is/PshNg https: >>>/cow/6064
Clearly there's no point in uploading all the shit that needed archiving again, so have fun.
Edited last time by HangingFlesh on 12/04/2019 (Wed) 03:46:26.
306 posts and 69 images omitted.
I can't believe Zach finally kicked the bucket. Must have taken the entirety of /x/ making offers to Corona-chan.
He may have pussied out of imageboards but he still uploads his shitty looped soundtrack videos to jewtube so that Disney and Warner can get shekels for the hours he spends for free. The latest, a Soy Wars one from 5 days ago: https://invidio.us/watch?v=jPzkTPzLJnQ
>>42126 So his last act on this earth was to upload a looped soundstrack to YouTube? Rest in pieces, Zachy.
Nigger

Lolcows Who Disappeared Anonymous 12/30/2019 (Mon) 23:14:56 ID: 7b929a No.25118 [Reply] [Last]
Who are some lolcows that used to be quite prolific but then vanished without a trace? Kat Haché, aka Kevin: http://archive.is/2msVN For those unaware: >incredible smug, narcissistic tranny whose Tweets cumulatively outwrote the Bible in length. >had a penchant for documenting every negative comment said about him >got super pissed when someone outed his former identity as Kevin >caused the old /cow/ on 888chan to abruptly shutdown >kept tweeting indefinitely >suddenly shuts down Twitter account >deletes entire web presence >detransitions and starts identifying as male The last record of Kat's existence was from an now-deleted Instagram account with pictures of him detransitioning.
13 posts and 6 images omitted.
>>25118 Yandere dev
>>25118 that fat chick from mcG​AMERGATEs.
Where she now?
>>36517 I completely forgot her whole drama. Wasn't she selling her used socks at one point?
Whatever happened to Lena and that crazy army brony dude?

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Enema Flopson Anonymous 03/09/2020 (Mon) 18:56:24 ID: 497fbc No.39778 [Reply] [Last]
This may not seem like your typical lolcow, but believe me, she is. Everything started when little Emma was a kid and she was cast to be in what would become known as the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises, Harry Potter. Like most of you probably know by now, she was picked so that executives could bust some nuts ( https://archive.is/BG2zv ). However, soon enough she convinced herself she was an actual actress. Fast forward to 2011. The dullest franchise was over and no one considered her a serious actress so she knew she had to do what she could do best. Enter Harvey Weinstein, boom, HARVESTED. She lands a role in My Week with Marilyn, a movie she thought could give her a career path. And it was not due to lack of Harvey trying, he went as far as to tell the world that "now you see her as a woman", an obvious wink to his fellow producers wanting to treat themselves to somewhat fresh meat ( https://archive.is/Bl6RX ). But the only thing she got after that was a role in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, a pretentious movie so dull it rivals the least dull Harry Potter entries. Desperate, she turns to Sofia Coppola, who makes her play the bimbo in The Bling Ring. Watson is a natural at playing a dumb slut, but sadly for her it would be the first of the many times she would prove she is unable to do a convincing American accent. Judd Apahack was her next stop. This time, she played herself in This is the End, a movie where she gets paranoid about the other celebs like Seth Rogen, Dave Franco or Jonah Hill wanting to rape her. As if anyone would want to, other than pedos who saw her in the dullest franchise. bickers she still couldn't get any decent roles, she went to Darren Aronofsky to be in his headcanon version of Noah's story from the Bible. The movie was a disaster and her performance is often compared to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. Flopson is simply unable to convincingly emote, and her cries seemed like she was trying to hold back laughter. This wasn't the first time this problem was evident. There's an infamous picture from 2011 where she's with Emma Stone and it's painfully obvious she's forcing a smile. It was around this time that she started being an obnoxious feminist and decided to become the UN's mouthpiece to lecture the world on feminism. To make matters worse, Flopson's smug, out-of-touch brand of feminism has earned her the scorn of other women in a similar position in the entertainment industry who also describe themselves as feminists like Maisie Williams, who called it out as "first world feminism" and said the things Flopson speaks about "don't bother her", being aware that women in the first world aren't really treated unfairly bickers of their sex( https://archive.is/FI9ed ). Still unable to find anything worth being in, she takes a role in the latest German guilt propaganda film, Colonia. It was so terrible that when they showed it in her home country, Great Britain, it made a measly £47 ( https://archive.is/44G44 ). This movie is the one that cemented her reputation as box office poison. Colonia flopped so hard it the slamming was heard across the globe, and once again Flopson was out of a job so she went back to daddy Harvey to get another role that could enable her to try again. After some kosher loads, she was cast on Regression. It was a commercial flop that barely made its budget back and a critical flop too. But daddy Harvey takes care of his harvested roasties, and that's how she now had a chance. La La Land was in pre-production and she was cast in it alongside Ryan Gosling. This was her shot at winning an Oscar! Sadly for her, when he found out she had been casted he dropped the role and they got Miles Teller instead. She was dropped bickers she was too demanding and they realized she didn't have what the role required (talent) so they got Emma Stone ( https://archive.is/uT73Y ). Now that Stone was in the cast, Gosling came back and Teller was dropped. Much to Flopson's dismay, Emma Stone won an Oscar for her performance on it. While Stone was earning her Oscar on La La Land, Flopson was raping the legacy of Beauty and the Beast. As if butchering accents wasn't enough, now she decided she was qualified to sing. And every song she "sang" needed to be heavily autotuned, yielding a robot voice as a result. She also couldn't keep her mouth shut and kept saying things that hurt the profits. Her poison wasn't enough to overpower the nostalgia bait ( https://archive.is/RreUl ) for the box office to fail, but it was certainly enough to make toys unsellable. You can see the literal mountains of Beauty and the Beast toys in the attached video. Thousands of Belle dolls were crushed bickers they couldn't be sold. Her decision to go with the Disney flick was a blessing for Damien Chazelle, who would have earned the loathing of thousands instead of praise for La La Land, were Flopson to perform in it undubbed. It has been speculated that Beauty and the Beast could have grossed twice as much had they cast a lead who was able to hit any notes at all. Her diva approach to work basically had her blacklisted ( https://archive.is/MmpEv ) so she could only get to be in a dystopian movie with Tom Hanks and her beloved bull John Boyega. It was a commercial and critical flop. She was out of a job for two years ( https://archive.is/3pfP9 ) causing her to develop a coke addiction and finally got her fellow activist Greta to cast her ( https://archive.is/7haOz ) in her feminist adaptation of Little Women after Emma Stone dropped the role knowing the script was a dumpster fire, baiting Flopson into thinking it had potential ( https://archive.is/l5Wo6 ). In the beginning, she was billed first. Later, as Greta realized what a mistake it would be she bumped her to second place and the lead became Oscar winner Saoirse Ronan. Once again she had to play an American character and her atrocious accent ruined everything. Even the Australian actress Eliza Scanlen, the literal who from Sharp Objects upstaged her. Florence Pugh and Saoirse Ronan did as well, as expected, and got a lot of awards buzz. Emma was again struggling and her coke addiction ( https://archive.is/yG6aX ) spiraled out of control as she couldn't cope with the situation, which adds to her femcel status, or "self-partnered" as she calls it ( https://archive.is/ybWBt , vid related too) as men quickly drop her if they're foolish enough to date her for a while bickers of her being so unlikeable in person and having these delusions of being a good actress/singer that make her unbearable to have around, literally no man can stand her after a while ( https://archive.is/e00Lp ). She was conspicuously absent from the movie's press tour ( https://archive.is/gmoQs ). She nearly died from a cocaine overdose as her coworkers toured promoting the film, and ended up in rehab. The pictures speak for themselves, you don't end up like that without a serious drug addiction. I predict a lethal OD soon.
25 posts and 10 images omitted.
>>39995 No, you have that one wrong friend. Feminism/Effeminism are the two sides of the same coin. The goal is to attempt to emasculate men of any power or worth. Stronk Independynts & Literal Cocksuckers are the faces of that coin. MGTOW is simply a (rather misguided but wholly understandable) knee-jerk reaction to this evil.
>>39778 bretty gud read, well done anon
Um, based?
>>42604 nah, she's just retarded as hell on everything she does

Mark Mann Thread Anonymous 10/18/2019 (Fri) 22:49:59 ID: ebaa36 No.13209 [Reply] [Last]
Let's take a moment to appreciate of favorite CakeJew, and just bask in his shell of a life.
311 posts and 168 images omitted.
>>41607 >While mobile The horror...
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>>42629 What's the context, got an archive?
>>42661 So nothing kino: Cakejew is now auto anchoring meta threads bickers he doesn't want to see them, Project Odin was a huge disappointment, 8kun gold confirmed, ads too, he still has to have hope for 2k/month even though he may consider splitting away all else fails. OP is a real fag though: https://archive.is/7RN7C

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Anonymous 01/30/2020 (Thu) 21:11:06 ID: 2c1776 No.29934 [Reply] [Last]
>he no longer can afford to host most videos and images So when is Joshua Coomer Moon running out of money? What happened, did the paypigs stop donating crypto to him in exchange for taking down their pages or stalking literal who ecelebs or did some Ukranian rebels stole all his shit?
14 posts and 2 images omitted.
>>39106 Also what info would that be? Are they pedos or something?
>>29939 This didn't age well.
>>42572 He started selling shirts to his autismbux fed foxdick trannies in order to afford to keep running his site/making videos/buying hurtcore CP.
>>42573 Jewsh pays Eastern Euro hookers to piss on him and cuckwheels has the tapes.
>>42610 Update: This is now falling through and Josh is probably fucked for funding again.

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